Have you ever wished for a wise and knowledgeable mentor to guide your every action in the hobby, sport, or art that you love? I'm thinking of Mr. Miyagi (the Karate master in Karate Kid) and other such role models. Seriously, who doesn't want to learn correctly, preferably from the beginning as they're learning something new, and who doesn't want to succeed at their endeavors? Who doesn't want a cheerleader to encourage them along the way, someone with high expectations, who exhorts us to stand up and get back on the horse (or drawing board or balance beam or whatever)? We all want to excel and I think it's written into us somehow that we should seek out others to help us.
Well, I have been searching for years for people like this in my life. Everything from riding instructors to personal and spiritual life mentors. Almost inevitably, I've been disappointed. Afterall, no one is perfect. No one can meet my standards if that's what I'm looking for. I'm really not much of a hero-worshipper. It's just too easy for me to see people's flaws - perhaps they have a temper, or are a hypocrite (really, who isn't?), or maybe they just have their own life and friends and are too busy to give me the attention I desire. Honestly, most of the fault is my own. I'm wired to always want more from relationships. My expectations are too high, including my expectations of myself.
I will likely never be a professional artist or horse trainer/rider. I won't go to the Olympics. I may never make it to Grand Prix. I'll certainly never be the perfect dressage rider, wife, daughter, sister, or Christian. That doesn't mean I shouldn't try for these things, but I should try in a less pressured way. My goals should be attainable. My guides will be imperfect, but that doesn't mean I can't learn from them.
I recently moved my horses to a new barn in search of more guidance in my riding and training. It was a leap of faith. I followed my intuition which whispered in my ear that I could learn there and be happy there. And I am. Every ride I sense my mare Elena getting it - that swinging in her back and not using her neck to brace is actually more comfortable to her as a way of going. It requires energy from her hindlegs and release through her back and neck. It requires trust in her rider. She's like me, you see, opinionated and reluctant to entrust her well-being to others. But together we are learning to trust each other, to trust our instructor, to let go and let God work it out. It is a better way, this trusting, this faith. After all this searching, I'm realizing that there's only so much we can do to find good leaders. The other part is letting go of ourselves (our shame, our frustration, our pride, our fears) enough to let goodness into our lives. Join me today - this Easter day - in embracing all things good and releasing all things which hold us back!
