Captivated by the Journey

I can’t believe I haven’t written here in so long!  I guess I’ve been too busy riding both of my mares to have time to write about it! I have been loving my new barn and the training we are receiving.  All of the work has been focused on encouraging the horses to use their backs more – to lift them and swing them, with active and engaged hind legs and a round body posture and lowered relaxed neck.  

With Elena, at first we did a lot of flexing to each side & stretching downward . It used to take her the whole lesson to let go and relax and use her back since she was so used to a higher more braced neck posture. Luckily she had the right idea already and demonstrated it at times but the goal was to get her more consistently supple in her back and reaching down and out for the contact. After awhile, she would start to stretch almost right away and then we could proceed to a bit of more collected work.  Elena has improved her canter work dramatically – much rounder, more collected and balanced, as well as softer and suppler in her back and neck.  She’s also now doing wonderful shoulder-ins and bending leg-yields along the wall.  When my trainer rode her a lot last fall, he had her doing counter canter and simple changes through the walk and beginning haunches in.  Now that winter has set in, the bitter Minnesota cold and longer warm up time has set us back a little but it’s still exciting to see her learning to collect while staying round and soft.  With correct work, she has also discovered her inner fire and is rarely lazy anymore.  While still an opinionated dominant mare, she has mellowed and matured and I continue to learn how best to be her respected leader.

Meanwhile, my other mare Kaleidoscope is now shod on her front feet and is sound at last!  She’s still crooked naturally but regular correct work is really helping her to use her body more evenly from one side to the other.  I’ve also learned that she does better when I sit more than post in the trot and when I am careful to not tip forward. Additionally, she prefers a lighter contact with the reins. She is teaching me how important it is for me to release her tension by not holding too tightly to the reins and rewarding her frequently for good work.  Without this, she has a tendency to rush forwards in her misguided effort to please.  She too has softened in the canter work and is getting better and better at stretching downward and out without losing balance on the forehand. She has given me lovely collected canters and nice steps of shoulder-in and haunches in.  It’s great to be riding her regularly - her sensitivity and anxious nature continues to be an invigorating challenge for me.

I have developed greater steadiness in the sitting trot and better balance in the canter and in the canter transition.  I’m learning how to use my seat to instruct the horse, rather than just to follow the motions of the gaits.  I continue to work on keeping my lower leg further back, my upper body upright, and my hands in the optimal position – all of this in motion with the horse, not a fixed unyielding posture.  I’ve also learned not to nag my horse but to use a small aid and, if necessary, back it up with a big aid.  However I must be vigilant to keep my horse’s focus and roundness with quick small motions of my hands and I’ve learned how to hug the horse with my legs each stride in the canter to encourage impulsion and lift of the back.  Each of my mares brings their own particular needs and preferences and challenges.  They both have so much to teach me!

As always, the journey captivates me. I live for the moments when it all comes together, when I feel true connection and when correct work becomes almost effortless.  Slowly we build the right muscles,  flexibility, and habits. Though I am not by nature a patient person, I see over and over again that perseverance pays off and we are all blossoming!

Finding Guidance

Have you ever wished for a wise and knowledgeable mentor to guide your every action in the hobby, sport, or art that you love? I'm thinking of Mr. Miyagi (the Karate master in Karate Kid) and other such role models.   Seriously, who doesn't want to learn correctly, preferably from the beginning as they're learning something new, and who doesn't want to succeed at their endeavors?  Who doesn't want a cheerleader to encourage them along the way, someone with high expectations, who exhorts us to stand up and get back on the horse (or drawing board or balance beam or whatever)?  We all want to excel and I think it's written into us somehow that we should seek out others to help us. 

Well, I have been searching for years for people like this in my life.  Everything from riding instructors to personal and spiritual life mentors.  Almost inevitably, I've been disappointed.  Afterall, no one is perfect.  No one can meet my standards if that's what I'm looking for.  I'm really not much of a hero-worshipper.  It's just too easy for me to see people's flaws - perhaps they have a temper, or are a hypocrite (really, who isn't?), or maybe they just have their own life and friends and are too busy to give me the attention I desire.  Honestly, most of the fault is my own. I'm wired to always want more from relationships.  My expectations are too high, including my expectations of myself. 

I will likely never be a professional artist or horse trainer/rider.  I won't go to the Olympics.  I may never make it to Grand Prix.  I'll certainly never be the perfect dressage rider, wife, daughter, sister, or Christian.  That doesn't mean I shouldn't try for these things, but I should try in a less pressured way.  My goals should be attainable.  My guides will be imperfect, but that doesn't mean I can't learn from them. 

I recently moved my horses to a new barn in search of more guidance in my riding and training.  It was a leap of faith.  I followed my intuition which whispered in my ear that I could learn there and be happy there.  And I am.  Every ride I sense my mare Elena getting it - that swinging in her back and not using her neck to brace is actually more comfortable to her as a way of going.  It requires energy from her hindlegs and release through her back and neck.  It requires trust in her rider.  She's like me, you see, opinionated and reluctant to entrust her well-being to others.  But together we are learning to trust each other, to trust our instructor, to let go and let God work it out.  It is a better way, this trusting, this faith.  After all this searching, I'm realizing that there's only so much we can do to find good leaders.  The other part is letting go of ourselves (our shame, our frustration, our pride, our fears) enough to let goodness into our lives.  Join me today - this Easter day - in embracing all things good and releasing all things which hold us back!

Interconnectedness and flourishing

I have always wanted to make a difference in the world, to leave my mark, to make the lives of those around me better for having had me in it. I believe the same is true of our horseback riding, that our foremost goal should be to improve the horse(s) we ride.  I'm certainly not the first to assert this, but it's such a worthy aim than it's completely worth being reminded about - and as often as needed!

In the art of dressage, our primary aspiration is to sculpt the horse.  To teach her to use her body with better balance and more lightness and collection and expression.  In so doing, we also scupt our own bodies because we have to use our bodies well in order to teach our horses to do the same.  Since horses and riders are living creatures, this is a lengthy process with much repetition and attention to detail. 

I recently came across a line in Caitlin Brennen's novel "Song of Unmaking" about how horses that are worked often and well have a kind, soft eye.  It's so true!  And not just about horses!  All living creatures need to live out their purpose and to connect with other beings in mutually beneficial ways.  People as well as other animals thrive when they fulfill their passions and sparks, when they live in accordance with their natural inclinations.  Horses and other animals have always inspired me by their simplicity.  They want what they want (that grass on the other side of the fence, that squirrel up that tree, to snuggle close when thunder strikes...) and they live completely in the moment.  Humans, on the other hand, so often confuse their wants and desires and impose standards, expectations, and limitations on themselves.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not suggesting we all give up civilization and go wild again.  But we can learn from animals about the immense value in being true to ourselves. 

We can also learn from them about the importance of positive connections with others.  As the bible says "God says, ' It's not good for the Man to be alone.' (Genesis 2:18)"  All living beings thrive when they are in connection with the world around them.  Increasingly, our modern world is pulling people away from the connections we need in order to flourish.  There is so much perceieved isolation and disconnectedness.  I believe this is in part because as a culture we have forgotten our need for interconnectedness - with God, with nature, with animals and other people.  And although I love the sense of connectedness I get from the vast social networking world and online forums, there's just no replacement for in person connection.  We all need to feel others' presence, to interact with them, to let ourselves go enough to truly empathize with others.  It's in letting our own worries and insecurities go that our ego gets lost in the vast interconnectedness of the world and that we find our true selves.  And it's in finding ourselves that we can truly lead others towards finding themselves, that we can do our part to help the people and animals around us to fulfill their potential and live their dreams.